Went to visit my granny at the hospital after work, the doctor called my auntie and uncle yesterday and told them that there's nothing much they can do as the virus has spread to her bones. The doctor then ask us to decide whether to stop her dialysis so as to stop her suffering. My aunties and uncle had a discussion and decide that's the best option for her.

Watching her lying on the hospital bed helplessly, memories of her taking care of me when I was young all start coming back to my mind. She seems so drowsy and weak, every now and then, she will try to tweak her nose and I believe it's due to the feeding tube that was inserted into her nose. As much as I can't bear to see her go, I know that it's the only way for her to end her suffering. She had suffered long enough since she was diagnosed with kidney failure years back.

Even a slight touch on her leg will she yell out in pain. I hold on to her hand and she managed to slight hold on mine. It's really painful to see her in this state and that's nothing I can do at all. My aunties and uncle has decided that she will go through her last dialysis either tomorrow or Friday which means she will be on her way to heaven within a short period of time. Deep inside, I know that granny has always been afraid of death, I pray that she will understand that it's a very tough decision that has been made to shorten her suffering.

Has not been staying at home for the past 1 year, I rarely had the opportunity to talk to her. Now that her days are numbered, the only thing I can do now is to visit her as much as possible while she's still around. Everyone around me is telling me that it's the best way out for her. The entire family knows that deep within our heart. Still, the thought of losing someone close to you is devastating.

My birthday is round the corner, I just hope that the dates doesn't crash. I know that there won't be any miracle, I just hope that she won't suffer too much after stopping her dialysis, the doctors mention that the toxin will start to accumulate and they will need to inject her with morphine in order to stop her pain. They won't be able to determine a fixed time on when she will leave this world. It may take one day, few days, one week, 2 weeks or even a month. I just hope that she will be able to live peacefully during this period and leave peacefully.

May god fulfill this wish of mine...